Others

I was at lunch with the girls today and we were discussing different milestones in our lives and how they affected us.

I had just mentioned how turning 30 was tough, as it was the year I lost my parents, so turning 40 and 50 were a piece of cake.

One of the girls looked at me and said, ‘not criticizing but is there anything that you’ve done or felt that didn’t involve someone else”? I thought for a moment and said NOPE!

As I have had a chance to sit and think about that, I realize there is no feeling or decisions that haven’t been based on someone else. At least when I think about milestones and such. Is that weird? I don’t know; every big decision or difficult situation has been affected by others.

As I sit and think about it, I think that may be the case for many of us.

I was chatting with one of the other girls later and she mentioned that perhaps it’s because we had children at a younger age so there was never that time to simply focus on US and our wants or needs. The needs and wants of the spouse or kids always came first. It makes perfect sense. Perhaps it’s because we are emotionally driven? For instance: If someone hurts me I can’t hide it. My emotions are on display for all to see.

I can’t think of one instance where I’ve said “this is how I feel about -”

Perhaps it’s in my DNA, or it’s my generation. I remember times when a ‘friend’ (I use that term loosely), would say things that were hurtful. I could easily have said they were wrong, but I didn’t because I knew it would hurt their feelings. My decision at that moment was still based on someone else.

I’m not saying I don’t do what I want. I have a great life.

Update 12/18/23

As I sit in the doctor’s office, waiting on the hubs to come out of surgery, and reviewing this post, I think of how much has changed in the last few years. In a seemingly short snippet of time, it seems as there has been a shift in society. The younger generation seems to think nothing of hurting someone else with their words. They simply spew what is in their head with no regard on how the person they are speaking to will be affected. The lack of concern for others is disheartening.

Then there’s the offended; EVERYONE seems to be offended by EVERYTHING. It’s all so odd.

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